In 2010, my previous band Here We Go Magic played Hard Rock Calling in Hyde Park in London. It was summer and actually a beautiful day, rare during my time in England. We were playing before my favorite band at the time, Beach House, so I was nervous. I remembered our stage being a gazebo, but it was actually a tent. Our backstage a field. I headed to the backstage (field) and drank some of the free wine spritzers and beer to settle my nerves (useful).
Calmed, we played, and the show went well. While I was packing up all my gear, I hear an “excuse me”. Standing in front of me was an actor who most women recognize as terribly attractive, blessed with the camera-beauty face, who I will refer to as the Actor We Will Not Name. As handsome as he was on screen, his blue eyes as bright, he goes on to tell me that he loved the show. I accepted the compliment, bewildered, scarlet, a mere mortal. He walked away and I figured I’d never see his iconic face again. I continued to drink more wine spritzers and enjoyed the heinous crowds there to watch Sir Paul McCartney.
My friends and I have this theory that Actor turned Musician is never a good move. They are full of enthusiasm and loaded with confidence, yet the A2M has a success rate of slim to none. There’s about one person that we can all agree has done ok; Drake. For some reason, the other way is perfectly fine! Tom Waits, David Bowie and Eminem have all done very well in their respective acting roles. Russell Crowe, Scarlett Johansson, and Gosling however, are not doing so well on the musical front. (Maybe those who are blessed with the DNA of camera-beauty cannot translate the grief experienced by us mere mortals to express a melancholy or ironic musical idea? Can the Beautiful People even understand irony?)
A few hours after the festival, we headed back to the studio where we were recording. Here We Go Magic and crew loved to jam, often it being the focus of the night. Things were going smoothly, interchange of melodies and ideas running free. From the corner behind me, I hear something wrong. Someone did not know what language the rest of us were speaking. Not realizing that our producer was good friends with Actor We Will Not Name, I didn’t even consider the possibility of him being there, let alone beating out his hopeful transformation from A2M. I turn to see AWWNN robustly and exuberantly ripping apart a bongo. He looked up at me with those same piercing blue eyes and the innocence of a five year old, not realizing he had absolutely no sense of time or rhythm. I suppose in a dream this would seem like a perfect bonding situation, but at this moment, I lost all attraction, and quickly realized that the Beautiful People and Actors alike are mere mortals too.