by Oliver Primus
Route A towards despising humanity is to attend a gig, or by visiting the cinema.I know that seems harsh considering where this article is being housed (if it somehow makes the cut) – but it’s not you, it’s me. Don’t feel bad. Actually, screw that, it is you. I’m a nice person – if a little boring at times – but I can’t stand bad manners. Film playing? Shut the hell up. Band playing? Put your damn phone away.
I’m a big fan of technology (the very fact that this article exists is proof of that) but it’s 100% the biggest enabler of douchebaggery known to man. It leads people to strive for constant validation/approval and allows the ‘LOOK AT ME / I’M SO IMPORTANT / LOOK WHO I KNOW / LOVE ME / PAY ME ATTENTION’ mind-set to flourish – resulting in a room full of people experiencing music in an incredibly fractured way.
What made live music so special to me when I was younger was the ‘collective experience’, but when 30% of the audience are talking at a volume which would rival me when I chat with my slightly deaf Grandma, 35% are tweeting about how much fun they’re having at the show (I see you, buddy), and a further 30% of the audience have their phones in their air ready to snap their megabytes away, it doesn’t take a genius to realise what percentage I’d want to be friends with.
Like I said, I am boring, and I’ve always kinda preferred listening to music on my terms (at home, with my cat, headphones on) but I can’t be the only one that thinks something needs to change?
Oh, and as for you cinema-goers, if you talk during a film the punishment should be that you get you ejected 20 minutes before the film ends. Odeon are still considering it, Cineworld said “no” and Prince Charles Cinema have yet to get back to me.